Saturday, May 25, 2013

NICU Day 12-Roller Coaster Ride

I am not feeling up to writing very much today, but a post I made on Facebook needed some clarification. First of all, Lola is fine. She is doing well. The NICU is a roller coaster and you will have awesome days that have you planning taking your baby home soon, then the next day will come and you will feel farther away from leaving than ever.

Yesterday Lola took 3 feeds. I came into the NICU this morning with my stomach in knots hoping to hear she did well for her evening feeds. I did not get that news. I got the news that she drank some from her bottles, but was given the majority through her nasal tube. That was devastating. It just shows we are a long way from going home.

We also found out (after I looked at the temperature on her bed) that they had not taken her temp down a half degree. Apparently, the order never got written. We fixed that issue after complaining to the doctor. The nurse told us she had to maintain a temp over 37 degrees for her bed temp to drop. Lola's temp has always been 36.7. We knew it didn't sound right and asked her to call the doctor. We are our daughter's advocates and I have no problem being the squeaky wheel when I do not feel right. I felt some of the same frustrations from the doctor in things like nurses rotating too often and not remaining with the same babies to understand their quirks and attitudes. It is up to me to stay close to her medical orders and complain if I see inconsistencies.

When Nathan fed Lola she drank 33ml of her 38 and had to have the last 5 ml through her tube. When she breast fed she only did so for 6 minutes (required to do 10) and then the nurse gave her over half a feed. I suspect that she did not drink or cue at her 5 o'clock feeding because I think she was over fed. My milk is very high and i can pump 110ml in less than 20 minutes. If she fed for 6 minutes, she probably got 33ml and did not need as much as the nurse gave her to meet the required 38ml. It is enough to make me quit breast feeding her and just pump and feed her by bottle. Apparently this is something I have read on many NICU boards to get your baby home sooner. I was not a fan of our nurse today and felt she was trying to prove to us that Lola couldn't eat her bottles because we complained. I hope to not see her tomorrow.

All-in-all, Lola is doing well. She is healthy and thriving. However, I do not see her coming home in the next week or two which has me very depressed. I am struggling to smile or feel normal and don't see myself doing either until she is home. Nathan and I stopped by Hobby Lobby this morning to get some things to finish her room before Tait went to he zoo with friends. Now, I don't have the heart to finish the projects we got. Finishing her room is one more thing to remind me she is not home. I m not sure I have the heart to even step into her room until she comes home.

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